Giraffe? Or orangutan?

by Radio Somewhere

I belong to a professional networking group and at our latest meeting we were sharing our experiences regarding job interviews. Inevitably, we got around to those bizarre questions that Human Resources types like to ask – “ink-blot questions”, I call them – such as:

Would you rather be a giraffe or an orangutan – and why?

I find this very annoying. Why the bias for exotic animals from the tropics and sub-tropics? My response? Neither, really. I’d probably enjoy being a beaver – felling trees with gay abandon and flooding the place. And if some bastard busted one of my dams I’d have it patched up on no time! I tell you this, if I ever get asked that question I am probably not going to get the job.

But, I decided to ask a few people at work today (a printing company.) I decided not to bother the press operators. One is always zoned out, and the other is just hairy enough to perhaps think I’m taking the piss. But the guillotine guy is always game for a silly question – and he chose orangutan, because he would enjoy having long arms. One of the billing ladies in the front office went with giraffe, because she liked the idea of being able to see a long way and hear the birds singing in the tree tops. She also thought a giraffe would smell better. But the other lady in billing would be an orangutan because she fancies being really big.

By then I was a bit tired of asking the question – proof indeed that I am not HR material. But I couldn’t resist asking my boss.

I’ve asked my boss some risky questions before. He’s a big Buckeyes fan and I dared to ask him how he would feel if one of his daughters dated a Michigan man. I had to ask, even though I risked being shown the door at the very suggestion. But, it happened that one of his daughters had indeed dated someone from that state up north, so he had already faced that crisis (it didn’t work out.)

Anyway, the boss was a bit indecisive, so I asked him instead which he would prefer to hire – a giraffe or an orangutan.
“What’s the position?” he asked, catching me by surprise. I just shrugged. So he suggested that for a position in HR, he’d hire a giraffe; but for production, he’d want an orangutan.

And I think I will let that be the last word on the subject:)